October 16, 2005 I sat in a seat listening to a sermon and realized I wasn't really saved. I didn't really know if I was going to heaven. Even though at the young age of 6 I made a decision to follow Jesus. I never really acted like a Christian growing up. I know several people who can attest to that. It was not really until that day, 12 years ago, I made a real decision to pursue a relationship with Jesus. It was definitely the best decision I have ever made. He has shown Himself faithful over and over again.
That day 12 years ago I was weeping, yet I felt ashamed because everyone knew I was supposed to be a Christian. But that day He changed my heart and life forever. Now I am no where near perfect and will never be perfect on this earth. This journey hasn't been easy but it has definitely been worth it. He has taught me so much over the years. Things that used to be a constant stumbling block and thing that used to set me off no longer do.
My first real teachable moment that I remember was at Chick-fil-a. Weird set of circumstances but so life changing. Someone finally just told me flat out that I was full of myself and boy did God convict my heart. I realized then that I was living in pride and it was running rampant in my life. That very day I chose not to be that way anymore. I asked God to change my heart. I still struggle with pride sometimes. I am usually able to see when I am stepping into that and catch myself from going there. I thank God everyday for making me aware of things like that. He does that on many things He has taught me. The Holy Spirit says, "Hold up! Don't do that or say that!" I know can't do life without Him. Aren't you so glad God gave us a helper? The Lord has taught me how to lead with a program in our youth group at church and He has given me opportunities to pray with people. He is always presenting new opportunities that I have to be ready for.
I want to share a couple of more learning moments with you. I have spoken on this one before but I think it is worth repeating. (You can see my previous blog post to read the full story.) Just a few short years ago I struggled greatly with anxiety. So much so that I was becoming physically ill. I hardly wanted to do anything or go anywhere. So many fears of the what-ifs. What if this happened or what if that happened? I know we all have those kind of anxieties to some extent. I was so over feeling that way and failing to live life. I chose to go to a prayer meeting where people pray over you. This meeting changed my life forever. I walked out there looking forward to not being controlled by fear. I was no longer going to be a slave to fear. I have to choose everyday not to fear. To this very day I have to choose not to fear. I have to choose life over fear and joy over fear. It is much easier now than it was 3 years ago to not let fear take over. This year I have done so many thing that I would have never done 3 years ago.
This brings me to what I wanted to share about this year in particular. This year started out with a lot of stretching. The Lord told me to trust Him with my finances. So this year I have tithed no matter what and He has gone above and beyond with His Blessings. When I look back on just my tithes this year, I can see how he has doubled my original tithe from the first of the year. That is a testament to His goodness and faithfulness.
"He who is faithful in very little is faithful also in very much." (Luke 16:10)
"Prove me now, says the Lord, if I will no open the windows of heaven for you and pour you out a Blessing that shall not be room enough to receive it." (Malachi 3:10)
I have also saved more than I thought would even be possible and the car is being paid off early because of His Blessings. I give Him all the Glory!
This year also brought big change with a promotion at my Job, another huge Blessing but teaching moment (still happening). You know that fear and anxiety I was talking about? Yeah, I had a lot about this job promotion. I prayed for a week and I felt like God was telling me He was going to teach me how to trust Him with my job. Once again He has shown himself faithful. I jumped in, even though I was beyond and scared and this is totally out of my comfort zone. The past two weeks have been my best weeks ever. I can only attest that to Him. I have no idea what I am doing but He is showing Himself trustworthy. Great is His faithfulness! Dreams are being fulfilled. The Lord has taught me how to trust Him this year and He isn't done yet!
I said all of this to encourage you that even those dry, desperate moment, He is still there! He is always right there beside you. Make that choice today to follow Him. He will be faithful to you too! Make that decision to step out of fear and walk in His light, He will protect you. Make that decision to trust Him with your everything. He is faithful. He loves you like no human can. He is trustworthy, faithful to the end, and provide unconditional love to the brokenhearted. You are Loved!
There are many more stories I could share of His faithfulness over the years. If you want to know more, please ask. If you want to know where to begin, please reach out to me. The first step is making that decision to follow Him. After that dig into the Bible and start learning His way of being and doing. I can give you some tips on where to start. As always I love to hear your stories. Please share!
Until next time....
